


I See Nothing But the Candle in the Mirror

by evangelistofstars



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy, Voyná i mir | War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
Genre: All my favorite ships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Canon Incest, Love Triangles, Unrequited Love, a lot of relationships - Freeform, also some anatasha vs pierretasha, except helenatole i don't ship incest but helenatolokhov is my shit, i had this idea a while ago yeet, lowkey sonyakhov vs helenatolokhov angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 05:20:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12523892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evangelistofstars/pseuds/evangelistofstars
Summary: Hélène thought Dolokhov meant nothing to her. Sure, she had had an affair with him. But their attraction had been merely physical, a result of her promiscuous nature. There was no emotional connection between the two. But as she watches him fall desperately in love with the beautiful Sonya Rostova, she begins to question what he really meant to her. While Sonya is charmed by Dolokhov, her cousin Natasha dances away with Anatole Kuragin, foolishly wasting her life, as Pierre wishes it was he who she had chosen and not Anatole.





	1. The Opera

_"The opera! The opera! Hold up your dresses, and jump out quickly."_

Sonya faintly heard her aunt Marya and was shaken from her thoughts and worries. She loved Moscow, and was happy to be here, especially with Natasha, her favorite cousin, but she wished that she hadn't been dragged along to the opera tonight. She was a shy girl, not too fond of social situations, and there were people here who she did not want to see or be reminded of.

Slowly but surely, she stepped out of the troika, straightening her dress and waiting for Natasha to follow her. She watched her jumped out of the troika, and smiled a little at her cousin's excitement. If only she could be that enthusiastic, she would've had a much better time.

She walked into the opera beside Natasha, although not facing her, their godmother Marya Dmitrievna following behind the girls. Sonya looked around. She did not want to be here, she did not want to be here at all. But she sucked it in and wore a look of fake excitement.

"Are you alright, Sonya?" Natasha asked. She knew Sonya well enough to see right through her fake happiness and sense her unhappiness and worry.

 

Sonya sighed. She did not want to bring up this topic.

"Natasha, smooth your gown." was all she said, watching as Natasha did so, and turning back to her thoughts and worries about what terrible things might happen tonight.

 

\----

 

Natasha squealed, stepping out of the carriage and into the opulent theatre where the opera would soon take place. She took Sonya's hand and squeezed it excitedly, leading her cousin inside. Marya followed quickly behind them, letting the two incredibly pretty girls (who had not been seen in Moscow in many years) present themselves to all of good Moscow society. 

Natasha twirled around in her dress, looking in the mirror beside her. She was pretty, no longer a child, but not yet a woman, and she felt something she had never felt before. Excitement. Fear. Vanity. All of those rolled into one. Ever charming and vivacious, Natasha loved society, though she was still learning the ropes of how to be in it.

One day, she dreamed, she would be like the Countess Hélène. Fashionable, mysterious, and a little bit promiscuous- but as of now she had neither the age nor the confidence to be like that, though she couldn't help but dream.

Turning to her cousin, she detected a feeling of preoccupation and worry, despite the facade of false happiness she attempted to put up. Unlike Natasha, Sonya did not care for society, and had myriad anxiety about being seen in social situations. 

Natasha put her hand in Sonya's. "It's gonna be alright." she said, smiling and leading Sonya through the crowd, waving at the people they knew.

 


	2. Queen of Society

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hélène enters the opera as usual... with Dolokhov on her arm, but watches as he begins to fall for Sonya Rostova. Sure, she was pretty, but why would he choose a plain, obedient girl like her over the elegant Countess Hélène? But that isn't Hélène's biggest or only problem. Her brother. He's clearly in love with Natalya Rostova, which Hélène knows is a terrible idea, but as his sister she knows that he'll expect her to assist in the relationship, and that she will have to deal with the consequences.

"Look there's Alexey! Home from the war at last!"

"He has changed, dear me! Michael Kirillovich has grown still stouter!"

Sonya looked around the room, as she, Marya, and Natasha remarked on how their old friends had changed. She was still quite nervous, but seeing her old friends made her feel a little bit better.

"There's Boris and Julie... I heard of their engagement!"

"And Anna Mikhailovna! What a headdress she has on..."

"And is that Natasha?" This was spoken by a gravelly female voice, which as Sonya and Natasha turned around, was confirmed to be the Countess Hélène. 

She was beautiful, and elegant (if very scantily clothed), there was an air about her of unbounding charm and seduction. Her very appearance suggested her a dangerous woman. Beautiful, but not someone you would mess with.

Sonya took a step back so that Natasha could introduce herself to the Countess. But as she examined Hélène, her eyes couldn't help but wander to the man who accompanied her. 

He was quite handsome, his dark hair messy in a way that was somehow perfect. His mouth formed a sly, knowing smile, that was more of a smirk, now that Sonya thought of it. But most of all, he had the kind of eyes that were so mysterious that you couldn't help but get lost in them.

She had never seen this man in her life, but she felt as if she'd known him forever. A warm, fluttery feeling washed over her. Happy, but also nervous. She must have been staring at him for a while, as Natasha had to drag her away from him, pulling her aside to talk to her, as Marya and Hélène talked. 

\---

Hélène entered the opera, and as the servant announced her arrival, she confidently pranced about the room, in a walk that was more of a strut. She simply loved society, and her favorite thing was being the center of attention.

She had come here to get away from Pierre, her husband who she detested, and to see and be seen as the elegant queen of society which she was so reputed to be, and if you were acquainted with the Countess Hélène, you would find that reputation quite accurate.

"Hélène?" said a man's voice behind her. She recognized the voice to be Dolokhov, a friend of her brother's who of late she was having an affair with.

"Fedya?" she said, turning to face his eyes.

"I did not know that you would be here." he said.

Hélène laughed. "Fedya, you idiot, we arrived together."

Dolokhov laughed dryly, though his face remained emotionless. "Oh, I did, didn't I?" 

"Yes. Why did I pick you of all people, you can barely remember who you came with!"

"I was only joking, Hélène."

"Joking or not, it's still a step up from Pierre..."

"Ah, well, anyone is better than Pierre."

Hélène nodded in agreement, and linked arms with Dolokhov to continue parading about the room, running into a beautiful young girl who she assumed to be the Countess Rostova.

"Ah, is that Natasha?"

Natasha nodded, and did a little curtsy to Hélène."You must be the Countess Bezukhova."

"So beautiful... what a charming young girl! So enchanting!" Hélène nodded, realizing she hadn't answered the question.

Natasha blushed and smiled at Hélène. "Who is this?" she asked, gesturing to Dolokhov.

Dolokhov smiled and introduced himself. "Fedya Dolokhov." he said, taking Natasha's hand.

As Dolokhov acquainted himself with Natasha, Hélène's eyes wandered to the other girl who stood beside her, who she assumed to be Sonya Rostova. She was pretty, though not nearly as beautiful as her cousin, and she wore a plain, simple dress, in an effort not to be noticed. 

Hélène watched as Dolokhov met Sonya, uncaring at first, but realizing how interested he seemed in her.. and how Sonya appeared to return his interest.

Hélène  felt uncomfortable, like she wasn't supposed to be here. She thought she had had Fedya all to herself... but she also thought she hadn't really cared about him. Their affair had been purely based on physical attraction, right?

Or had she been in love with him this whole time? She didn't know the answer, nor did she want to, but something within her seethed, as she kept her eyes on Dolokhov, watching him, watching Sonya, watching it all go down.

Quickly, she reminded herself that she was the Countess Hélène, that she could easily find another man, and that she didn't need one. She straightened her dress, fixed her face, and met the eyes of Marya Dmitrievna, an old friend with whom she had a complicated history.

As she started the discussion with Marya, she found her eyes wandering back to Dolokhov and Sonya.

Was she envious? Perhaps.

Did she love him? Maybe she did.

But that was none of her concern right now. Right now her job was to straighten her face and be the queen of society she was known as. If only she felt like doing so... If only.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters from me in one day is a miracle... i hardly ever even write one.. but i'm loving this so far so i decided to add another chapter. chapter 3 should be up soon, if i don't get too engulfed in the anatasha vampire au, which will have chapter 2 up hopefully today. enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> so i wanted to write something with anatasha, pierretasha, dolène, and sonyakhov since those are my favorite ships, and thought of this idea in a late night musing, decided i had to write it. hope you enjoy!


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